On the occasion of feeling annoyed.

22. People who freeze when they reach the end of an escalator.

21. When a girl’s jeans are so low her panties are visible.

20. Squat women who squeeze in next to me when I’m seated on the Metro.

19. The neighbor who throws parties every Monday night.

18. The neighbor who always seems to be hammering something.

17. The upstairs neighbors who do “musical workouts.”

16. The downstairs neighbors who smoke on their balcony.

15. Smokers in general.

14. Smokers who toss their butts in the street.

13. Drivers from Maryland and Virginia who toss their cigarette butts in the District.

12. Virginia.

11. Virginians.

10. Babies.

9. Toddlers.

8. Elementary-age kids.

7. Teenagers.

6. College students.

5. Grad students.

4. Parents who allow their small children to do things they aren’t old enough to do, like opening a door or pushing an elevator button.

3. People who watch CBS’s Monday night sitcom lineup.

2. People who are younger and more successful than me.

1. Parties.


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